Anyways, I DROVE thru my local coffee establishment, to get a cup of crack coffee
after work today. I was planning on siphoning this cup of joy into my
belly in between getting out of work and picking up my son at school.
Just to clarify I have to GO INTO the school to get him....
Now
that you get the picture, I shall continue. I pull into the drive
thru, order my fix, pull up and the worker is having a conversation with
his co-worker calling someone an idiot. I thought of all the people I
knew that fit into that category. He is spilling my coffee all over the
drive thru window, and his arm. I, immediately shake my head and start
to say "Thanks, but no thanks, keep that overflowing geiser you have
there, because I'd prefer not to smell like a hipster that works at
Starbucks" and he says "Don't worry, I spilled enough in here that it
won't leak."
Dude. I know I look
young, and perhaps even dumb, but I know that me taking that cup of
coffee is going to lead to an absolute disaster inside this mini-van
that looks like it's in the running for a taping of Hoarders.
He
forced that cup of coffee on me with such vigor, I was thinking he was
auditioning for the role of Christian in 50 Shades of Gray. I had no
option, BUT, to take that coffee. He was not taking NO for an answer.
The drive thru window closed, and I was left holding a cup of coffee
that I knew was going to cause me way more duress than the temporary
caffeine high was worth.
Now,
may God bless the designers of my Toyota mini-van. In their infinite
wisdom, they provided eight cup holders that are accessible for the
driver. I picked my least favorite cup holder, knowing that it was
going to get saturated with my mid-afternoon poison and I drove to the
school where I could park and develop my game plan for attacking this
overflowing cup. When I got to the school and parked, I had already
leaked so much coffee out of that cup, I was convinced there was less
than 3/4 of it left. I pulled the lid off, and it was like the levies
in Louisiana burst (again, too soon? my apologies). COFFEE.
EVERYWHERE.
I walked into that
school covered with coffee. I sat in that lobby waiting for my son,
absolutely doused with a large portion of the EXTRA large coffee that
some young man decided to JAM into a medium sized cup, and then force
that coffee on me while discussing the intellectual inabilities of
another.
Something that you may not know about me is that I am a Godly woman. I MADE EASTER GARLAND,
for Christ's sake. LITERALLY. So today, I couldn't help but think of
that part of the bible (Psalm 23:5) that talks about my cup
overflow-eth-ing. Thank you Psalm 23. It sure did. All over the
console of my car, my driver's seat, my pants, coats, and chin.
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