Pinterest This

Ladies (and some gentleman, but not many) understand the concept of a PINTEREST FAIL. I can predict there are many ladies shaking their heads and nodding, right now.  We should probably start a support group....

Well, allow me to tell you about the worst thing I attempted from Pinterest, that sucked TIME AND CRAFTY DESIRE right out of my godforsaken limbs.  

My Pinterest Fail Entitled "Easter Egg Garland Hell": There was this awesome post about making your own easter egg garland using yarn, liquid starch, and water balloons.  You SIMPLY(!) blow the balloon up to the size you'd like the egg (or sphere) to be, then soak the yarn in this GOO of liquid starch and water, and then wrap the yarn around the balloon.  It dries hard, you pop the balloon, and VIOLA! DELICATE STRING EASTER EGGS that can be strung together and hung on the mantel above your fireplace. How JesushasRisen-ish.  

fail. Fail. FAIL! Holy shiz!!!! For starters, let me tell you about what an effing mess that made.  I trashed my kitchen because as you wrap long SOAKINGWET gooey string around the balloon, that. shit. flies. EVERYWHERE.  I mean, I'm pretty sure the dog ended up with an eye gooed shut (witty play on words, see what I did there?  gooed instead of glued? teehehehe), the ceiling of my kitchen ended up with a popcorn effect--well, at least now it matched the rest of the house, and my daughter ended up looking like Cameron Diaz in There's Something About Mary. Yes. And she was two at the time, so that was REALLY not a good look for her.  It was Child Protective Services worthy, but NOT A GOOD LOOK.

In addition, whointhehell has fingers small enough to reach in and pull the popped balloon out of the inside of the egg? Not me. These man-hands weren't delicate enough for that task. So, I tried a knife (ouch), tweezers (nope), a knife again (bigger ouch), and finally was successful with chop sticks.  I knew those bitches were made for something. Sadly, this was all compounded by the fact that my garland had all of this weird, scaly, starchy crap that had to be pushed out in order to look like a delicate string egg. Lame.  

Garland that should have taken me 30ish minutes, excluding drying time, took me a whole damn day, and I had to bathe the dog, and my daughter (and yes, perhaps I did throw them in the tub at the same time--which was cool until my daughter pooped.  Poor dog). 

My easter egg garland was ugly, my dog's eye was gooey, my daughter looked dirtier than a hooker in Vegas, and the only thing I had to show for all my hard work was popcorn starchy-goo ceiling in my kitchen. Damn you, Pinterest.