Wednesday, June 4, 2014

I Need To Write


I need to write, like people (that shall remain nameless) need to drink. It's an outlet. It's a source of therapy, even when I'm not venting. When I craft these blog posts, or write emails (I was going to say letters, but who even does that anymore? How much are stamps these days?), I spell check, edit, and rewrite sentences with the attention that a new mother gives her first born. (Notice I didn't say second born. And God help all of you third-born children and beyond. You were probably raised by wolves or some other caring mammal that lived near your house, because your parents were probably *all done* with that thing called "parenting" by the you came around---#apologies #truthhurts).

Anyway, writing comes easy to me. When I am feeling angry, I want to write. When I am feeling happy, I want to write. Frustrated? Get me my laptop--I need to write. Interestingly enough, I don't have a journal. Journaling has always made me feel ridiculous. I mean, who am I, Anne Frank? What do I possibly have to write about that I'd want to read about in the future? Journaling: NOT FOR ME.  However, when I have something to say that I know is going to make someone laugh or smile, I'd rather write a witty Facebook status than call the 25 people that I know will get a kick out of it....and for you social media haters, that does NOT mean that I don't know how to communicate traditionally or that I am ADDICTED to social media, but it means that I recognize the therapeutic effect that Facebook has on us, and that I am happy to contribute to numbing someone's down time by writing something that might bring a laugh or two to a friend that needs it. We've all been down the road of Facebook scrolling without even reading the statuses that are in front of us...and if you haven't, I'm sorry that I just outed myself for possibly not reading your posts.....

Today, I need to write. I need to write because I really don't want to pick up my house. I'd rather be sitting right here, right now, crafting this post than spend this moment putting my dinner dishes in the dishwasher, putting away two loads of laundry, or even getting my kids ready for bedtime. Writing this, RIGHT NOW, is an intimate moment where I am digging in my own mind for just the right words about how I am feeling. So, just so we're clear: I'm feeling, hmm, lazy. I'm also feeling unmotivated. I do not feel like putting laundry away, while mentally preparing next week's grocery list (because multi-tasking and getting a little bit of everything done without focusing on one thing at a time--therefore, not completing anything is how I roll, anyone else with me?). So, while writing this, I am not answering the annoying adorable questions that my two little ones constantly ask me over and over again ("Can we have breakfast for dinner tomorrow?" "Did you find my purple dress up shoe?" "Can I buy this app for the iPad?" "Why does the dog poop there all the time?"). My focus, currently, is on my thoughts, and my feelings, because one cannot write while thinking of other things. You can try, but you'd end up with something like this:

What is life really about? Is it about damn, do we have italian dressing? Crap. Stay focused. Where was I? 

What is life really about? Is it about, finding ourselvWHY THE HELL IS THE WATER IN THE BATHROOM ON? *Girl child* SHUT THE WATER OFF IN THE BATHROOM. WHY MUST THAT BATHROOM ALWAYS LOOK LIKE A WATER MAIN BROKE IN THERE? please. tell. me. that. you. did. NOT. put. soap. in. your. dry. hair. UGH! STRIP DOWN. I GUESS IT'S BATH TIME.  

Yeah. That's pretty much what happens if you try to write while multi-tasking and not being committed to fifteen minutes of uninterrupted thought-processing.

Tonight, I needed to write. But, I think I'm ready to put the laundry away now, so I should probably go do that. Do we have italian dressing? No. We do not.... We also need bleach. That bathroom is gross....STAY FOCUSED. LAUNDRYLAUNDRYLAUNDRY.

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