Of Course the Summer Polar Vortex is This Week...

Let's discuss Mother Nature. She's a ridiculously indecisive, moody WENCH.

We do not vacation thattt often, but we do try to do one big trip a year, usually to the beach, and one small trip over the summer.  The last three years, we have ROYALLY struck out on the weather. Instead of boring you with three years worth of vacays, I'll go back 1.5 years.  Halfsies only to keep your attention...

Last February, we went to Disney. You know, the World? Large, people-sized creepy characters wandering around, completely mute? <SN: I heard that they now say phrases and the phrases are remote controlled. Slightly less creepy, NOT!> Anyway, I packed for seasonable weather. Capris, short sleeves, sundresses, shorts, bathing suits, etc.. I made sure each family member wore a wintery outfit, and we packed a wintery outfit and extra sweatshirts.

It was cold. Like 30s and 40s at night, 50s and if you were GeeDee lucky, 60 by 2pm. We froze. But we made the best of it, because it was supposed to be the happiest damn place on Earth, and the fact that we vacationed during Florida's first notable experience with the Polar Vortex was not going to deter our happiness, for ChriDisney's sake.

Fast forward six months to August: We go camping with my in-laws to an outdoor water park for 5 nights. It's AUGUST. Summer. Not late August, early August. Watermelon, swimming, HEAT?! Yeah, not that week.  It was *maybe* 65 degrees for most of the days we were there, and then one day it was in the low 70s. The glorious trip to the water park was complete with a blue-lipped toddler, a shrinkage-affected 6 year old (just a guess!) and 2 ear infections because "moooooooom, I'm not cold..." meant "I'd rather freeze my tots off and go down that slide than wrap up in that towel."  Did I mention that the park was working on the heating element for their water that week and that the water wasn't heated BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE IN AUGUST?

...And now we are at vacation attempt number 3.  A Myrtle Beach vacation in mid April. Risky, to begin with, but a chance that we were willing to take because of the wicked chilly winter we had in New York.  It should have been between 65-72 degrees, according to averages.  Even the low temps were in the low 50s, according to averages. Yup. You guessed it, the Polar Vortex just happened to make it's way down to South-Freekin-Carolina in time for day 2 of our vacation, and lasted the whole week. We enjoyed one seasonably warm day before temps dropped into the LOW 50s for the rest of the trip. Awesome.

Flashback: remember that camping trip to the water park that was a chilly fail last summer?  Well, in our brilliance, we changed that trip from August to what is *supposed* to be the hottest week of the year. This next week in July, is traditionally, the creme de la creme in terms of heat! I started looking at the forecast wayyyy in advance and saw the temps in the low 70s. I was like "naaa. That'll change." It did! The highest temp is the day we get there, 74 degrees. It's supposed to rain until we leave, and the high temperatures on two of the days is in the mid 60s. Sounds like outdoor-water-park-weather to me! I'm packing the Motrin for the ear infection as we speak.

So, I've decided that I'm changing my name to Elsa. I'm clearly the issue, and I'm having a difficult time "Let(ting) It Go." You can call me Queen (Bee). See what I did there? A Frozen reference AND a Lorde, "Royals" reference? Hmph. Probably not even worth a chuckle. Weak material, I'll keep working... 

So, I guess the question is, who wants to take me on vacation? Anyone? Bueller?! :)