You’re the Parent of a Hockey Player When...

* Your entryway smells like an absolutely horrific combination of mildew, Febreeze, feet (err, skates), and mint "flavored" alcohol disinfectant, yet you're sure the only thing that's been disinfected are your nose hairs from breathing in bleach fumes from trying to remedy what is now (until April) referred to as the "entryway situation"...

* You say things like "get your blocker away from the crockpot" and "have you waxed your stick lately?" and it is part of a completely normal and acceptable conversation.

* Sleeping in on a weekend morning means you can sleep until 7am (!), instead of leaving the house BY 7am. #booforweekendalarms

* You suffer extreme embarrassment when your seven year old tells your cousin and his fiancée he can't be in their wedding 9 months from now because he *might* have a hockey practice or a game. 

* You eat macaroni and cheese and hot dogs for two months leading up to the ice fees due date...(and vow, again, that next year you will budget better...)

* Your youngest child is often referred to as a "rink rat" and you are completely okay with it.

* You know how to construct a "balanced" meal in a pinch from the rink's snack bar (#cheesesauceisALMOSTdairy)

* You know more about what is going on in the lives of the other hockey parents than you do in the lives of your own family members.

* You've purchased three or more pairs of gloves this year because you keep forgetting one of your 42 pairs at home.

* Even though it sounds like you've put a small mammal in the washing machine, you're aware that it's just a cup (the protector of the "beans and franks"...not the Red Solo kind)

* You base your level of enjoyment on how well the heat works in the rink you're traveling to or whether or not you can grab a brew or two there, and NOT whether or not your kid's team is going to win or even be competitive.... (oh. perhaps that's just us and not the majority of hockey parents. OOPS.  I guess I mean #goflyers, not #samadamsplease)

* You're proud to be one of the insane parents that supports this ridiculously expensive sport because your kid (or kids) glow on the days they get to breathe in that crisp air, gliding from line to line, developing skills but also friendships that they'll cherish forever. #hallmarkmoviereadyscript