Columbus' Voyage, With His Ladies

So, Columbus' cracked out accidental discovery of San Salvatore (now The Bahamas) have resulted in a glorious Monday off for a lot of people! Thank God he decided to take the chance to sail, relying on Aristotle's and Ptolemy's words of spherical wisdom, and his boat didn't just fall off "Flat Earth" into the black abyss.

History books about Columbus CLAIMED that he took three boats with him, but I'm pretty sure based on what I've found on Google (it has to be true), those were actually the names of his lady friends. Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria were riding the waves with Columbus, but they were not the vessels he used to arrive to The New World. I'm just sayin'. I mean, some fancy professor in Texas said he probably had Reiter's Syndrome, which could be developed from an STD (or poor sanitary conditions or improper food preparation). Hmmmph. Well, I supposed being at sea for five weeks on end without access to hand sanitizer, Dawn dish soap, or Axe body wash makes either of those possible and it's not polite for me to be calling Chris out on having chlamydia.  Sorry, buddy.

Anyways, I'm super glad that we still celebrate Columbus Day. It allows me to drink more beer today while I watch football, without worrying about my work alarm rousing me from a beer slumber on Monday morning. Confused as to why I'd have to drink to enjoy football on Sunday? Well then, clearly you aren't from Buffalo.