A Craptastic Monday-like Tuesday

I try not to be the person that bitches about everything (LIES...see I Am Not A Negative Nancy), but it is days like today that help me completely understand why some people choose to numb the realities of life with alcohol.  Let's review:

• Coffee belongs in cup and in my belly, not on my lap.
• Small people that I work with (i.e. bust my a$$ for) should not address me with that tone of voice (or that tone of look)
• Health Insurance company's error SHOULD NOT cost me $131.00 to fix, when I should have $0.00 out of pocket for said expenses.
• No, female toddler of mine, I am not mad that you waited until TheLastPossibleMoment to realize that you had to pee and you had button jeans on, resulting in pee all over bathroom floor (and adjacent wall?! Seriously, do VAGINAS pee VERTICALLY these days?  If so, I'm turning mine in for a new and improved model, because I've clearly been missing out on something...)
• Swiffer Wet Jet, did you really have to run out of fluid, RIGHT NOW?
• Propane distribution company, I'm super sorry that your computer system is from 1980, but you guys need to figure out how to convey my balance on an invoice that does not require a doctorate in accounting. And, Nancy in billing, I'm smarter than I sound. I promise.
• If one pays for INTERNET, regardless of where one lives, it should freekin' work. A red solo cup, aluminum foil and a string could get a better signal than the piece of CRAP I pay for monthly.  

On that note, I'm going to bed. But, I may drink a (case of) beer with a straw beforehand.