Taking a “During School” Vacation? Start Here

It’s been a minute since I wrote anything on here. I guess I have just had less things to complain about. Lol. Kidding. Just much less time to draft my daily annoyances.  Seriously, during Covid I would have needed a thumb transplant if I chronicled all of life’s transgressions and we had the news and Facebook for that soooo….

Anyyyyway, I just saw a thread online where a parent was taking her kid out of school for an extended vacation (14 days) and wanted Sweet Cherub’s teachers to provide work ahead of time.  One of my teacher friends was put in a similar situation just this week.  Except her situation included the kid being gone for over a month and the parent saying that they wanted the work ahead of time so the kid didn’t have to be distracted by it while they were on vacation…for a month….during the school year. This comment probably gets stacked somewhere near “my taxes pay your salary” and “it must be nice to get summers off” and anything that insinuates babysitting and childcare.  

To be honest, this happens to us multiple times a year. You are not the first parent (this week) to ask, and we will likely respond while realizing that it’s situations like this which are why we need a new nightguard from clenching our teeth shut so  much but our dental insurance suc…..Nevermind.  

Dear Little Cherub’s parents with the packed SPF, 

Before you read this dissertation about one of the many reasons I’m questioning my career choices, go pack your child’s chromebook and charger. Have them check Google Classroom instead of TikTok before bed or when you are sick of taking them to places that cost ridiculous amounts of money so they can Snap and BeReal with their friends while not paying attention to the experiences you’re providing them.  Ask me how I know this will be your reality…

So, in response to your inquiry, I know the topic I’ll be teaching 14 days from now, but materials are customized DAILY in response to the needs of the class. I can’t tell you how my kids are going to respond in a lesson and do not plan materials that far in advance. Also, getting “the work” eludes to the fact that my work is all material (worksheet) based. How am I replicating discussion or the 1:1 time your child and I share developing their understanding? This all changes as fast as the classroom dynamic does! You’re welcome.  

This next part might seem contradictory or surprise you: I am one of the few who will tell you I’m happy for your family that you have the resources to be able to do this amazing trip. I will be so excited to hear about your child’s experiences and I’m thrilled they are gaining perspective and background knowledge about new things/places/people/cultures. But, do not throw shade if I don’t have my materials ready 21 days in advance for your extended vacation. Be thankful that my classroom isn’t a worksheet factory and that I rarely teach the same thing twice. Be understanding that my paycheck is based on my responsiveness to my classroom need in combination with my knowledge of the standards. Also, for my pretty handwriting, my quick wit, and the patience that I have stored like money in a mattress during the Great Depression.  Ahhh, if only I could find some long lost relative’s mattress money…. If that was the case, I’d buy a (one way) plane ticket and go with you—

Warm Regards, somehow, from my cold overworked heart, also my coffee is cold and I have to pee,

Mrs. HowManyMoreYearsUntil55 

Summer Vacation for the Teachermom

I love my kids. I can confidently say that they are funny, adorable, and pretty darn smart. They get along better than most, but certainly have their squabbles-which are usually cleared up pretty rapidly. I also love my job the most in July and August, because I don't have to go to it.  (For those of you immediately ready to hate on teachers, it's not too late to go back to school if you're green with envy. In fact, I dare you to. It's not all rainbows, lollypops, and glue sticks. That's a whole different post for a different day....) Anyway, my vacations are always when my kids are off from school/daycare, which means that I don't get time off unless my kids are off. To let you into how this works, I've compiled a list of how summer vacation goes for the "teachermom":

1. Teachermom will listen to everyone count down the days until summer vacation, not because friends and family are happy for teachermom getting a vacation, but because friends and family will be either envious of vacation, or anxious about having to deal with school-aged children that are home for the summer.
2. Upon the last day of school, teachermom will have a butt load of laundry to catch up on and will spend the first week (or two) catching up on the chores and housework that has not been completed by Rosie Jetson (because that wench of a robot is a slacker).
3. Teachermom will spend 1/3 of her summer pay on stupid stuff that is necessary, but not fun, therefore resulting in budgeting that could get her a master's of accounting instead of a master's in education. Teachermom will think about how to implement a Ponzi-scheme, but will realize that it's more of a hassle than it's worth and chances are her friends are too poor to invest... (being that most of them are other teachers)
4. The first day of vacation, teachermom will realize that her children's constant stimulation at school/daycare has set the bar higher than a pole vaulter at the Olympics, and that she will most certainly disappoint her children--causing them emotional duress, and resulting in them needing therapy. Teachermom's children will repeat "I'm bored" at least 45 times in 3 hours, which pushes Teachermom off the edge. Teachermom will say something like "I'll give you a reason to be bored..."
5. Teachermom will open a large bottle of wine.
6. Teachermom will think about how much easier it was to be working, and will say a prayer for the people that get paid to emotionally and academically stimulate her children during the school year. Teachermom will snicker, hoping that her schoolchildren's parents are responding similarly to this predicament.
7. Repeat 5
8. Upon venting to other teachermoms, Teachermom will realize that all teachermoms go through a transition from teachermom to stayathomemom.  She will vent with her girlfriends, sharing battle stories about how horrible of a stayathomemom they are, embracing strength in numbers, knowing that they are not alone.
9. Repeat number 5.
10. Teachermom will spend the rest of July pinning on Pinterest, and preparing for next year's classroom, avoiding looking at the calendar because August 1st is looming.
11. August 1st arrives, and teachermom refers back to number 5.
12. Teachermom will go into classroom several times to set up classroom and get things ready, but will be annoyed because she feels like she just took stuff down and that putting it back up 6 weeks later seems like it is a waste of time. She will take her children with her to the classroom and spend so much time trying to get them to stop playing with her teacherstuff that the whole visit turns into a wash.
13. Teachermom will clothes shop for her children going back to school, and will buy herself one or two things as well. She will buy school supplies for her biological kids, but spend 3 times as much on her school kids--which is ironic because her summer pay was gone by the last week in July (so much for budgeting). Teachermom will repeat number 5, multiple times during the last two weeks in August.

That pretty much sums up the summer of a Teachermom. Anyone have any parenting advice to offer up? I'll take it into consideration after referring back to number 5....